Roller Coaster of Emotions

As I begin my journey to Egypt today, I find myself riding a roller coaster of emotions (sorry if you don't like metaphors, but #Englishmajorprobs). It seems like ages ago that I participated in my first-ever Skype interview, was offered a job, and signed my first teaching contract... And boy did the last 6 months fly by! I attribute most of that blurry passage of time to my student teaching (and you know not to get me started about how wonderful and blessed my student teaching experience was- I could go on for days!)

Over the summer I have had ample time to think about my future and what it means. I attended friends' weddings, went on shopping sprees, helped raise two preteens (nanny life!), and said more goodbyes than I ever wanted to. But then I came to the realization that that is what a future is; a future is change. Changes in where we live, changes in who we talk to, changes in what we want, changes in how we feel, changes in how we think, and changes in who we are. I think today the word change has a negative connotation- it means that we've lost control and don't know what we're doing. I really think it means the opposite though- we are constantly searching and discovering that we can make ourselves better by doing new and different things.

One of the hardest parts of this journey (thus far) has been saying the goodbyes. The phrase "it's not goodbye, it's just see you later" has always befuddled me. I don't think that saying goodbye is a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely a hard thing. But by saying goodbye, it means that we are doing something different and that is a truly beautiful thing.

Now, back to my metaphor (I just know you were waiting for the resolution). I've felt everything from excitement to anxiety to pride to hesitancy to fear to joy- and so many more emotions I'm not sure I can articulate. However, through it all I have known that my purpose is greater than the sum of my feelings. What I am going to do is bigger than how I feel about it. Maybe this comes from my innate love for teaching. Maybe it comes from my faith. Maybe its a little bit of both. But I wholeheartedly believe that no matter the difficulties and challenges I am sure to face, I will come back a better person. Because that is what really living does for people. It makes us better.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes as I begin this adventure! I am looking forward to sharing my next post with you from Egypt! :)